She didn’t want to step into today
she wanted to linger in the fog
and forever lay sideways
between dusk and dawn.
She needed a break from the norm.
to surrender from adulthood.
She begged with herself —
to no one:
“Please take the pressures away and line them up in a column under ‘spent’ and done. Press another button and make me a flowchart. My colors will be unearthly. I want to create turquoise into magenta and mix in some chartreuse. My words and thoughts get tangled in a heap with the bed sheets. I’m tired. It’s a blurry world where I often don’t feel I belong.”
These were her thoughts, nearly everyday.
Never once asked, “What are you thinking?”
Somehow she knew,
she was too much and few
really cared to know the truth.
She carried on
a mask within a mask
letting no one see,
her smile an illusion,
to comfort those who couldn’t see.
That was then. Time changes perception
and truth seeps through even in dark spaces.