It’s senseless to worry, but I still do.

Richard Smith, Flickr

Richard Smith, Flickr

I’m not sure where to begin today. Nevertheless, I sit in the center of multiple intersecting circles, pulling threads to see where they’ll lead.

It’s such a chaotic space; leaves my stomach in a burning tangle with webs and origami folds in my heart.

I have a magical needle and thread to mend the tears when things start to fray.

It’s a necessary process throughout my day.

If I were a blanket, I’d be an heirloom quilt. Intricate patterns, swirled from pieces of soft cotton and silk. I would defy the odds of ordinary, just because.

Back to my focal point (see, how easily I stray?)

Where is my day going?

It’ll be stuffed between the norm of laundry, feedings, and carpool musts and the impending anxiety of spring’s [heart] break and a sojourn minus two-thirds of me.

I know it’s senseless to worry but I still do. I stub my toe and wonder, will it need to be removed?

Nothing is simple because I dwell in a surreal land of hyper-speed-extroverted-feelings in an introverted-min[e/d]field.

I clickety-click and read through scores of words, each syllable is one thousandths of a tear drop in an incessant sea of seen and unseen. Sometimes I lean on lists and quotes; music often funnels through stirred with a poem or two…maybe three. Other times, I walk around my garden looking for answers between a flicker and a flash of a hummer’s wings.

Until I finally say, enough is enough!

How and when that final threshold is achieved? Sigh, I really don’t know. I believe my body ceases to formulate, one more query and puts up a fight with a colossal head, stomach or pain in the neck. It’s when I’ve hit a glass wall and need to:

“Shut my eyes in order to see.” ~ Paul Gaugin.

Therefore, before I get to the state of an incredible internalizing-diabolical-unrest, I will pick from my list of 1001 – only, 3.3 items will get done.


About Carolyn Riker

A creative explorer using the magic of imagination, surfing the sea of understanding and finding bridges to connect it all.
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