It’s senseless to worry, but I still do.

Richard Smith, Flickr

Richard Smith, Flickr

I’m not sure where to begin today. Nevertheless, I sit in the center of multiple intersecting circles, pulling threads to see where they’ll lead.

It’s such a chaotic space; leaves my stomach in a burning tangle with webs and origami folds in my heart.

I have a magical needle and thread to mend the tears when things start to fray.

It’s a necessary process throughout my day.

If I were a blanket, I’d be an heirloom quilt. Intricate patterns, swirled from pieces of soft cotton and silk. I would defy the odds of ordinary, just because.

Back to my focal point (see, how easily I stray?)

Where is my day going?

It’ll be stuffed between the norm of laundry, feedings, and carpool musts and the impending anxiety of spring’s [heart] break and a sojourn minus two-thirds of me.

I know it’s senseless to worry but I still do. I stub my toe and wonder, will it need to be removed?

Nothing is simple because I dwell in a surreal land of hyper-speed-extroverted-feelings in an introverted-min[e/d]field.

I clickety-click and read through scores of words, each syllable is one thousandths of a tear drop in an incessant sea of seen and unseen. Sometimes I lean on lists and quotes; music often funnels through stirred with a poem or two…maybe three. Other times, I walk around my garden looking for answers between a flicker and a flash of a hummer’s wings.

Until I finally say, enough is enough!

How and when that final threshold is achieved? Sigh, I really don’t know. I believe my body ceases to formulate, one more query and puts up a fight with a colossal head, stomach or pain in the neck. It’s when I’ve hit a glass wall and need to:

“Shut my eyes in order to see.” ~ Paul Gaugin.

Therefore, before I get to the state of an incredible internalizing-diabolical-unrest, I will pick from my list of 1001 – only, 3.3 items will get done.

Advertisements

About Carolyn Riker

A creative explorer using the magic of imagination, surfing the sea of understanding and finding bridges to connect it all.
This entry was posted in Captured Moments, Let My Voice Be Heard and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s