It might feel like we are not growing or changing. It might feel like the moment is stagnate and harsh and raw. And maybe it is. However, we continue to grow.
We wrap the sheer skin of a walnut around our weary aches and tuck deeper inside our shell. We are changing. Inertia is necessary at times. The coiling and tucking and breathing in sync with the falling of leaves. We fade and fold and return to our inner tendrils during rainy storms.
Time beats slowly. Our inner river or stream or ocean swirls with eddies of repose.
We may feel our relationships have ‘failed’ or our careers are ‘stilted’ or our passions are ‘stymied.’ Yes and no. Each setback and ‘failure’ is a learning truth. Is it bitter? Or is it sweet? Sometimes both. I will still learn.
I pluck the shards from the open wounds and stitch each trauma with a blade of lemon grass. I burn incense into the center of heart and wait and listen.
Darkness is my friend, more so than light. I hold onto opposites; the nurturing of soul and the focus to honor my needs. I don’t want to be fixed or told what to do or controlled.
My vessel, with all of its imperfections, are what make me whole. I’ll embrace the paradox of my budding self as gently as I can. For I am learning to let the critical former beliefs drift with the wind.
Change is happening on a subtle level of cellular transformation. Some things we can’t see but just know — and therefore, we believe.