I am a creature of solitude.

Katie Immonen

Art by: Kati Immonen

Sickness of Spirit. Flu of Heart. Fever of Solitude. I need to fiercely protect her.

I’m in a space that feels rather low and just not-quite-right. I don’t feel well. And yes, I’ll-be-okay. I’m not fighting it as much as usual. I’m not telling myself, ‘snap-out-of-it’ or it’s wrong to be feeling on the flipside of the moon and resting in the Everglades of a Cypress tree.

I’ll linger here because my bones hurt and my joints ache and my feet the ‘soul’ of my sentient being, have sharp-shooting pains.

“It’s okay,” I tell myself and I’ll take a few deeper breaths into feelings between the crevice of remembering and climb onto a rocky sunspot of solace and curl into the blankets of quiet shade.

I am a creature of solitude with a wicked habit of loving people.

I prefer the tarnished in the silver and relish the pools of low tide; I gravitate to those teeming with life and love as well as those with puddles of sorrow, angst and fears.

And yet above all, I savor solitude. I need to protect it fiercely.

I’m not okay and it’s super okay. It doesn’t need a remedy or a quick fix or a perky word of ‘cheer-up, it could be worse!’ I know it can and I know many suffer much more deeply. I believe we all have days or nights and months and years, where there are more curves in the road than a linear highway of optimism.

So for now, I need to take a break under a Magnolia and rest by the trunk of a River Birch and dip my toes into the Willow of Nothingness. I’ll be okay – because I am strong and kind and believe that the tears I cry connect me to the sea. I need to listen to the waves and rest on my sails of quiet, safe and free.

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About Carolyn Riker

A creative explorer using the magic of imagination, surfing the sea of understanding and finding bridges to connect it all.
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4 Responses to I am a creature of solitude.

  1. D.B. Moone says:

    You say it best, Carolyn – you always do. I totally relate to, “I am a creature of solitude with a wicked habit of loving people.” That frequently comes through your beautiful writings. Go on and take a rest by the trunk of the river birch. You are strong and kind, and you will be okay. And this I know. ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    • I’m drifting peacefully at the moment and resting a lot. Feels so strange to take a break from ‘everything’ and ‘everyone’ but I might be able to get accustomed to this! Many Thanks, Donna. Your comments and thoughts are always welcomed and inspiring. Much love to you.

      Like

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