“Just do you” – came through in a dream last night. I vaguely remember the rest except for a lot of feelings. Of course, I thought I’ll remember, “Just do you” in my semi-sort-of-not-really-awake-space-at-the-earliest-part-of-non-sunrise.
“Shhh, let me sleep.” But thoughts and my sweet cat, Copper had other plans. Each pawed and purred at me perpetually to get up.
I curled around my mug and took the dream a few steps farther; it tied into a recent conversation.
When are you going to get a real job? You should do something safe and steady.
Which triggered another memory or two…
Teaching is glorified babysitting. Anyone can do it. Women aren’t good writers. You’re too sensitive to be a counselor. I didn’t have a comeback other than a ‘yes and thank you.’
I didn’t want to ‘win’ this conversation. I have tried before and it goes into a nasty loop. Although this time, I heard a second message under the words: Stop being different because I couldn’t so nor can you.
Somehow, I like to walk on the edges of an invisible multidimensional octagon. It rotates constantly and it’s not easy. However it is me. This will be my 7th year of working for myself. Writing and activism keeps bubbling up as a bigger part of my dream. Teaching will always be there; it is synonymous with learning. And psychology and counseling are natural elements pouring through the others like connective tissue to body, soul and mind and universe.
We need each other’s beautiful, incredible and intelligent gifts. Each of our voices, actions, experiences, logic and creativity add to the immense beauty of this world. I hear music as I write this and I start to sway, “Just do you” with the golden ratio of giving back to the whole.